From friendship to dating, from dating to wedding, from wedding to marriage and from marriage till death do us part. It is the little things that matters. Excuses is one the deadly relationship poisons and so it’s a well topic for relationship stories for discussion. Excuses can subtly come in handy and you may not even realize that you and your special person is gradually becoming strangers on a fast lane, especially when you feel you no longer have any need or reason why you should put efforts in your relationship just because you are already married and have the number of kids you want and the bedroom does not seem to excite you any longer and you probably think that you have already seen the best of whom your partner is and what they can best offer. That attitude of “you have already given me your all”, so let me check out what is new in town, and the attitude of I have “I’ve given you everything already so do not stress me” can really be a hindrance to your relationships and romantic relationship especially.
Do not forget that you chose yourselves by yourselves and that there were more than a trillion people in the world and of them all, you chose this particular person. The fact is that it is called “Relationship” because there is a connection and so to the best of your interest, you have to do what you must to keep that connection intact, when once your partner starts feeling like they are all alone for a long time or complain about certain things and you do not seem to pay attention. It makes them feel like you are giving that attention and affection to someone else other than they even when it is not true.
Once you have created room for one assumption, it will surely multiply and give more rooms to doubts, confusion, complains, loneliness etc. and that is not what you want because ultimately your relationship will head towards the rock so to avoid those Excuses that ruin relationships. Let look at those excuses so that you will be aware of when either you or your partner is crossing the line and lead them back on to firing you love up and not allow it to die due to excuses.
I don’t have enough money. (Relationship Financing)
If your partner discovers that majority of the relationship responsibilities have been transferred to them, they might keep their cool just for a little while and try to see if you will adjust but would not be able to carry the responsibilities for a long period of time without complaining.
You do not expect them to pay all the bills for instance while you have excuses months in and out for not having money. The relationship financing should not be left for one person, in as much as the percentage of contribution may not be the same because depending on your earnings, that quota you are supposed to contribute should be contributed especially if you work like they do. And if at all you are out of job, body language and words of encouragement would help coupled with your determination shown in action looking for jobs. Give no excuses of not having money all the time and expect them to be cool with it.
I just do not feel well enough (Too much dependency).
Do you depend on your partner for a particular thing and get upset when they fall short of your expectations? When a gesture is made by them to go an extra mile to get you your needs or that particular thing, it is something you should appreciate not feel like it was their duty. Because they could decide not to do it. Too much dependency would make a partner take you for granted and you don’t want that so why not do the dishes once in a while, let it even be a surprise and not that the dishes will be left undone for a week because they were not in the home and you can simply say you do not feel well enough. If you could eat, during those sick moments, you should be able to at least do the dishes.
I’m sorry, I said it because I was upset (Respect your tongue).
You do not want to give your partner the impression that you have no control over your emotions and so you can easily vent with any hurtful words and want to easily sweep it under the carpet afterwards. The fact that you are angry is not a good reason why you should release terrible words that will hurt your partner. The argument may end but the words you spoke in anger will not be forgotten. If you have issues managing your anger, kindly excuse yourself at that moment and not use the argument as an excuse for verbal abuse of your partner. Emotional relationship is the strongest of all relationships because whatever we say to our partners will sit in their subconscious because they have opened their minds to us.
No excuse whatever is enough good enough for you to verbally abuse your partner.
Do you even still love me? (I love you).
If you took time to convince this person to be with you and you also agreed that he was worth your forever, do not feel lazy when it comes to those things that created the bond between you too. Text messages, calls, gifts and any other thing you gave so that they would be with you should not stop. Make it responsibility to grow those gestures instead of reduce it. Women want to hear you say “I love you” a million time a day if possible, because they feel that words of affirmation are a reassurance of your love so no excuse why she should not hear it often. You don’t want her thinking you are giving it to someone else. A simple text message ending with “I love you” everyday will mean more to her than you think. Because she will feel both special and happy.
I don’t have enough time (Taken for granted).
I am busy with work and other things. Everybody is busy. Your partner should not feel like this at all. Regardless of what the situation may be. The feeling of being taken for granted will make them think you don’t care anymore especially when you use a part of your life that they are not really in sync with like your job and other engagement, the message you are passing to them is that those things are more important than they are. An interval calls of a minute each day, showing up on their big moments and being their first cheer fan is what relationship is all about. Remember, it is the little things that matters, if the little things are taken for granted, even the big organization may end up suffering as a result.
Can we do this another time, I’m tired
If you have issues piled up in your relationship, it is best that you deal with it as soon as possible. Make no excuses of being exhausted, chances are; your partner is tired too even if they stayed at home all day. House chores can even more fatigue especially when there are kids to tend to. Make it rule to have a time when both of you are just alone before bedtime to recreate your bonding.
Is sex food? We had it yesterday
Would you rather they get it somewhere else because you had it yesterday? It can be exhausting too but most times, you do things because you just want to make the other person happy. Sex is a way of unwinding for most people. Do not deny your partner their right. Yes, sex is food for your relationship and for your body. You know the benefits so why deny another person.
I promise I will do it.
But that is like the 5th time promise you have made to fix the car or call someone to do it. What do you expect her to do? Keeping to your words shows that you respect yourself, your utterance and in extension your partner. Do not say what you do not mean and more especially, don’t make it as a promise. If you want to be taken serious, you must take your own words seriously.
Do not be lost in the forest of your office and presentations that you forget to pay your partner a compliment. You should be the first to notice his change of wardrobe and compliment his fashion sense. She should not voice out that she just made a new hair before you will pay her a compliment. Both of you got attracted to each other by your look. If possible, do not let any day go by without complimenting that look.
I do not feel appreciated.
Thank you sweetheart for helping make junior look this cute will make a man do it over and over again. If those little acts of appreciations did not come, the big ones will look like a responsibility to them. Appreciating her food will make her put more effort.
I think you are less bothered or you act like it does not concern you.
If your partner says those words, it means they have almost become a nag on a matter and you do not seem to care or do anything to help the situation. You probably have given tons of excuses and they just cannot take it anymore. They are saying you should confirm your commitment to a course.
It is because:
Nope! Head up and take responsibility for your actions. It is important you apologize and own up your mistakes instead of making it someone else’s fault. Own your mistakes and clean up your mess. When was the last time you told me you love me or took me out on a vacation? Own up and make plans, not excuses.
You always say that to me
It means that partner is reliving the past. Something that happened in the past is an excuse for how they still look at you especially when a decision about that particular area comes up. They just conclude that you are a failure. Because your partner messed up a speech or presentation does not mean that they are social fall outs. So stop calling names that will remind them of an ugly experience even though you both were joking.
When last did you?
Do you find it hard to speak their love language? Love language is simply the way we want the special person in lives to express their love to us. You can read (the five love languages by Gary……… I wanted to include a link here that is if you want) Imagine having a partner who comes running you with words of affirmation, touches or acts of service and gifts when they notice that you seem to be feeling out of touch with them. When they ask when last did you do something you know I cherish, just know that they are asking you to speak their love language.
You don’t seem to have my time
It is because the feel the relationship is losing its spark with your excuse of being the world president who is too busy to pick up ice cream or their favorite snacks on the way home.
In conclusion, excuses are communicated through words of complain, doubts and uncertainties and relationships gets ruined only when those complains are not taken care of. If you can listen to the complains that your partner has been making, you would realize that they are still complaining because you are giving them reasons/excuses why you cannot do what they want. The relationship will ultimately get better if you see complains as pointers to your excuses and shortcoming.
If you know more excuses that seem unecessary but contributes to a huge deal of break-us, feel free to drop yours in the comment section.