How to go about getting the right relationship advice is one of the challenges we face as youths today so it becomes part of relationship stories for discussion. Especially in this era of online dating with uncertainties of who the other person is. Wouldn’t it be okay if we get a perfect directory that can answer all relationship question accurately? Wow! While that might seem like a dream come through, it is not possible, because your partner is not mine and your relationship preferences is quite different from every other person’s own so then, what works for me, may not work for you. What fail me may be perfect for you.
It’s even more daunting if it is your first relationship. There is nervousness and excitement yet you do not mess things because you do not have the proper advice or knowledge on how to handle a particular situation. I mean you just found the first love of your life and you probably wish that they’d be your last but you are steps behind getting it right and do not know what solutions calls for what situations. Even if you are a novice, this article will help you and if you are already have relationship experiences, this will still help you because knowledge is power.
This is how you should go about getting relationship advice, I have divided into three sections so better understanding.
Section one (Where to ask for advice)
► Do not ask your family, unless you want to hide your identity by using the third party method which is include below in section
► You should not ask your family because, they will take your side anytime, any day without bothering if you were right or wrong especially when it has to do with arguments and you do not want to hurt your special person because your family thinks he is not being kind to you.
On the other hand, your family will think you are being disobedient if you do heed their advice and as such might either ask that you leave the relationship or enjoy being in sorrow with bothering them, that is on the extreme though.
Do not ask from chronic single friends
Chances are they probably have no idea, or may want you to join them in being single so what then is the essence you wasting your time, because it will even give them an idea of what is happening in your relationship.
Do not ask your partner’s family either because:
Asking them would make them a little confused as to who to side and as much as they want to side you, they would not wish to hurt their own child so it is best you don’t ask them as they would not want double loyalty.
Do not ask his friends, chances are that they might mistakenly tell your partner without meaning to do so and that could spell doom for your relationship because then you partner will start to feel exposed not knowing how many people you might have reported him to.
♦ Trust your intuition.
No matter what advice you get from wherever, you ultimately have the decision on what to or not do because it is your relationship. Nobody might be able to give you the perfect advice because they do not know your partner as much as you do so it is in your best interest to trust yourself that you will make the right decision. The ultimate answer you seek will definitely come from you.
♦ Married people whose marriages you admire.
You want to learn from them what they are doing right and how you can apply it to your own relationship. Chances are, they will be happy to help and share the one thing that must have kept their partners glued to them and they to their partners. In this era where divorce is rampant, it is a privilege if you have couples whose marriages can be emulated.
♦ Ask from your spiritual heads
If you are close to your pastor, ask them and they would be more than happy to give you God’s guidance coupled with prayers. They want to see you succeed so with them, you have minimal fear about getting the wrong advice, in most cases, they would want you to be the one who take the blame as a way of living by example.
Section two (How to Frame your questions)
Use the third party phrase
Don’t say my relationship, rather say, a friend of mine is having so and so issues in her relationship, what do you think is the best approach to solving it? What it does is remove you from the equation especially if it has to do with issues you are not proud of and then listen and you’re your instinct.
What would you do if
With this phrase, they will not be able to guess if it was something you read somewhere or someone else’s story that you were told.
Is really a puzzle how relationship issues are solved?
With this phrase, whoever you are talking to would enquire to know more
Talk from the past tense
Do you think s/he did the wrong thing by? Then project what you feel you should do to remedy your relationship and then pay attention to what they would say that person should have done differently. N/B: do not forget to always check every word of advice you have been you have been given and then follow your heart.
Was my friend wrong to have?
It’s more like the previous and it also help the person you are asking to make immediate judgement without having to think too much. Of course, you would not know you are the one and your secrets would be safe as a result.
Section 3 (how to ask for advice)
Read body language before you anyone for advice.
When people are not in their best moods, they will not give you their full attention and might answer you without thinking it through so it is best you understand what their mood is saying and then decide to either ask them or nor depending on their mood. It is better to walk away and get back to them later if they are not the right mood instead of getting a swallow answer that might become a setback.
You do not need to reveal your identity, you want to keep your intimacy private and not wash your dirty linen in public and you want your respect at the end of the day. It is the most friendly environment to Get relationship matters solved by same community members.
Maintain a confident body language
As much as you can, do not show any emotions that will suggest that you are the one directed affected because no matter how you phrase your question, if your facial disposition gives you away, it is all a wasted effort so do a comeback if your feelings are too tensed as a result of the situation that you want a solution for.
Ask your partner
Ask a relationship counselor
It is their field and they probably had been asked the same questions before so someone who already had the answer before you ask will not only answer you but also be in the position to guide you on how you should apply the answer.
Yeah! In two ways, either directly or indirectly, you can project future occurrences and try to find out what his idea might be. Directly you can say “Babe! Nothing is really wrong but I just wanted to seek your advice You can say in then mention it.” Trust me, he will be happy to help. Remember that relationship involves the two of you and it will take the two of you to make it work.
And they are the best people with the best ideas on how they want to be treated.
Make sure to ask them when they are in their best mood.
Ask Online Relationship coaches: there are a bunch of them on every social media and even if you do not follow them, once you can put a chat across to them, thy would answer, it might not be an immediate response but definitely they would answer you.
You can online relationship influencers
They hide peoples’ identity and show their problem to the whole world, while there might be annoying responses, there is always answers from sincere individuals who would be happy to help with meaningful and helpful advice that could really go a long way to solve situations.
The interesting thing about this method is that it is used for really complicated relationship situations where the party or parties involved do not seem to have any knowledge on the way forward. But it is still cool if you want to keep your identity hidden you can skip this step.
Ask the Big Google:
Yes, google will feed you with varieties of advice and options and before you know it, you have answers and a new skill of surfing the web. Lol! You must understand that while google gives you answers, it is just a search engine, it has no feelings or shame, it does not know your man or the depth of the problem so whatever advice you decide to follow, remember to follow your instincts and your heart coupled with sense of judgement.